Thursday, September 3, 2009

Role Models

Last month my family and I spent the weekend at my Uncles Lake house. I love going down there since its super relaxing and I know ive got some extra sets of hands to help me out. Also it really helps clear my mind about certain things and helps me refocus.

That weekend I started thinking about role models. We all had one as a kid. It could of been the crossing gaurd that helped you across the street in school. Your favorite superhero on a Saturday morning cartoon show. It could of been your parents as well. Now since im a bit older (maybe a bit wiser - depends on who you talk to), I really started to see relationships between spouses and children.

After the weekend at the lake I realized I had a set of role model parents. Its my aunt and uncle. I know they have had thier ups and downs but they have stuck together even in the worst of times. I also look at my cousins. Both are them are going to be college educated - one is a freshman at the local community college and the other is starting her Junior year at Salsibury.

They arent loaded with money, they are just smart with it. They really made sure that thier daughters had things they didnt have as kids. They also made sure they were brought up with manners, morals, and values. I saw how they dont disrespect thier parents, they always listen. They are also willing to help as well.

As for my Aunt and Uncles personal relationship. Its had its ups and downs but they stuck it out and made it work. They seem like polar opposites but they make it work.

Im not saying my parents are the worst parents in the world due to what went on as a child, but I wouldnt want to have a relationship my parents had.

I was a suprise 18th birthday present to my dad - yep concieved on my dads birthday. My parents got married because I was on the way. My Mom has admitted to me that she almost aborted me - yea not a great thing to tell you child. For as long as I can remember, I wasnt the 'favorite' child. I have both younger brother and sister. Of course my brother was a fave since he was the only boy. As for my sister, shes alot more like my mom than I am. I always felt like I got shoved to the side alot growing up. I did have a good childhood, that I can remember. The thing that sticks out the most in my mind is how my self esteem was constantly shattered.

For 20+ years, my mom basically told me I was a worthless piece of (fill in the blank), and that I would never amount to anything in this world. I can only remember once when my mom called me pretty. Right around when I turned 21, is when my mom finally apoligized for what she did. Unfortunatley, all those low esteem issues arent going to go away on thier own. Which I will be the first to admit that I am a work in progress.

As for relationship between my parents, I saw alot of things go down. My Dad was loyal to my mom, I knew he always loved her. He would do anything he could to keep thier marriage going. My mom never wanted to be married to my dad. She cheated on him a handful of times. Some of them she would leave town for a few days. Her infeldility was so bad that when she was expecting my sister, they didnt know if she was going to be black or white. They were married for almost 13yrs before they called it quits. In todays society, that seems like an enternity.

Fast forward to today. Alot of those things I have witnessed made me think about how I wanted to raise my kids. I do my best to give them positive encouragement, and to feel good about themseleves inside and out. I want to show them how to love someone and treat them they way they need to be treated. I want them to know the right way out of a bad situation. Most of all I want them to look back on thier lives and see that Will and I did alot to mold and shape them to the people they have become.