Monday, December 28, 2009

Changing Directions

Ive got a decent job with decent pay. I like the folks I work with. The job itself - its ok, it pays the bills. I never thought I would be working at a Car Dealer. Ive had my struggles with crappy jobs and the pay that comes with it. I love that I bring home my own check and that ive worked hard to get where I am. Now comes the hard part.

As my 25th birthday is fast approaching, I feel like I need a change. As a kid I wanted to be the first female President of the US - yep I was pretty much an overachiever as a kid. I always saw myself working in a office but didnt know what I was doing. I have a degree in TV production which im very proud about but its hard to break into the business when it requires long nights, moving around and stress on not only you but your whole family. If I didnt have my family, I would be that girl. I would be putting career first, but now its the other way around.

I am a firm believer that if you dont like your situtation, you can change it. You should always have a job that you love waking up to and going to. I think that you should love your job so much that if for some reason they told you they were going to no longer pay you that you would still go to work.

In the past 4yrs ive picked up a new hobby/way of working out - pole dancing. Ive been dancing my whole life so when I was introduced to pole, it seemed like a very natural progression. I love my journey in pole, its brought me new friends and a new understanding of myself and body image.

The past 6 months, I really started thinking about making my pole love into a career. I love going in there, I wouldnt mind teaching. I really want to own my own Xpose Fitness. I love the philosphy, atmosphere and everyone at every location ive been to. I know there are lots of women who are Xpose Divas and I am the reason they started taking classes. I know im a big inspiration to not only larger sized women, but women who are afraid to pole. I have the inkling inside me to really make this work.

I promised myself that I should win a Ms Xpose to have some credential attached to my name when I open my own. Ive even thought about where I would open one. The ideas keep flowing to me while im at my day job. I even had a fan of my work suggest to me to do my own workout video. Ive never been the super athletic gal, but I know ive got some moves for this.

My 'pole dancing career' had totally taken off this year. I was invited to do 2 photoshoots, be featured in a nationwide blog, huge fan following on youtube and been invited to one the premier events in of all places LONDON next year.

Im ready to take the next step but honestly, im scared. I dont know where to start, the other fear of failing and landing flat on my face is getting to me as well. I am also worried about what Will is going to say. We have had that conversation time and time again but he knows theres alot of upfront $ involved with starting my own business. We simply dont have the $ but I know I could be a big part of the pole dancing community.

As my birthday is fastly approaching, I know one moment I will wake up and know what I want to do.

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